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Funniest shit EVER.

Work Ethic

Has apparently gone out the fucking window from when I got hired.

No joke, I was hired in 07 and have always had a strong work ethic. I showed up to work 15 minutes early, clocked in and asked what needed to be done. I would get as much of it done as quick as possible and as best to my abilities. In...09? We hired a girl who had pretty much the same work ethic as myself, if not better, and ever since then, everyone I've seen come through here has had shitty work ethic.

Where is it? What happened to getting your work done quickly and efficiently? What happened to showing up to work on time? Not calling out because it was a nice day out. What happened to doing what I fucking tell you to do?


I am tired, of getting these kids today who get a job, then sit there and whine and complain about having to do work, and not getting a lot of money when their check comes, or not having any hours.

1) You got this job, when someone else out there really wants it because they have bills to pay. So SHUT UP!
Don't sit here whining about how you have to do all of this hard work. Please understand that no matter where you go, you will have to work your ass off to get your pay check. Or else you'll be fired. Luckily for you, you haven't done anything that's fire-able yet, but trust me, in the real world with a job with more responsibilities you'd be on your ass and out the door. Not to mention there are a ton of people who would like your job, so if you don't like it, please move on so that we can actually hire someone who wants to work.

2) Show up to your job on time. Or early. And if you read the wrong schedule and I tell you that you need to be at work 20 minutes after the fact, don't sit there and be like "Oh. Thought I worked tomorrow. My bad. Well I'm no where near the store so..."

Bitch don't even play with me right now. You are an adult, so you best figure out a way to get here. It is your responsibility to read the right schedule. Thus it is also your responsibility to call someone else in for you if you cannot make it into work. Not mine. Nor is it okay for you to be so cavalier about missing your shift. Oh, you'll show up in time to follow me to the bank? I'm sorry but no that won't work. I need you here to do your job, whether you are in uniform or not. This is your job. And you are an adult. So figure it out.

3) Stop calling out. Calling out of work is reserved for either emergencies or illness. NOT for the weather or you wanting to go to a friends birthday party, or it being your birthday party and you forgot to ask off. If you must...for some god forsaken reason, call out, I hope for your sake you have all of the other employees numbers, (and no that does not include me working your shift or any other hire up working your shift) so that you may call them yourself and ask to either switch or have them take your hours. And please remember that NEVER is it my job to call the other employees for you to see if they'll work Your shift. This is your job. You grovel. Not me.

4) Do not question me about the list of things that I need you to do. And please do not say "Ok" with a smile on your face, and then continue to do the tasks slower than molasses in the winter time. I will not be amused. And in answer to your back talk about your tasks...I. AM. YOUR. BOSS.



Seriously, Kids these days. They just don't feel like working. It's shocking. Is this our future? Kids who don't want to work? Kids who don't want to study? Thus going through life doing the absolute bare minimum?

"If animals were fat" seriously makes my day better

Merry MotherFucking X-mas y'all.

I hate this time of year.  A time in which everyone and their brother drives like a crazed lunatic...ohno wait..that's year round. My bad.  But still, a time in which everyone and their brother is out putting themselves into debt because they "Need" to buy gifts for people in order to make them happy.

I say to you....BUH HUMBUG!

Merry X-Mas kids.  Enjoy.

Humph!

Group Presentations: Pt 2

I bet you all (you all being no one) are all wondering, what happened with her group presentation that no one helped her with?

Oh, let me tell you, it was fucking glorious.

I freaked out and ended up coming up with 5 out of 11 slides for a presentation that wasn't due until the next week.  So you can imagine my horror when I got to class only to find out we didn't have to have it done until next week.

So I got there, and talked with most of my group and we set up a day in the week to meet up and discuss the division of the project.

We'll ignore the fact that almost everything was done.

So we get there and most of the people (7 out of....10?) were there. We sat there and this is what happened. 

I begin talking to everyone and they're like "oh well we really don't have to do anymore since the app is done and everything else for the project is done too.  So...maybe we should add pictures to the slides."

Ok...Well thanks sir, how about you do that.   So you would think that since this kid not only has a computer, but also wants us to add pics, he would run up to google image and put that stuff in.  He doesn't.  He just looks at me, in fact they all looked at me.  The fuck?  Bitch you have a computer and you've done nothing for this project, in fact only me, and two other people have put stuff up there.  So I'm really confused as to why you think I need to be doing all of this bullshit.  Pull your fucking weight bitch.

So pretty much I do everything, and then I say, we each need to have a slide,  we each need to know our slide, and we each need to be able to extrapolate from it.  So we start giving out slide assignments, and then I'm like, there are four slides left...three people who aren't here.  Divvy it up between them and send them an email.

We do, or rather the boy who can't add pictures to our presentation sends out an email that says "Hey choose a slide from whats left and know it"

One girl says she'll do a slide.  Three slides still open....two haven't replied.  Thanks guys.

So the morning of the presentation I have the foresight to bring my laptop in and thank fucking god that I do because this girl who didn't show up to the meeting, didn't email us, has the NERVE to tell me, the very morning of...that she has added two POINTLESS fucking slides...in the very middle of my fucking presentation.

And yes I'm now claiming it as mine since I did most of the work on it.  So this throws most of the people off because they never actually remembered what slide they had, their goal was to count the slides and remember the number they had, which was then thrown off by two because that damn girl threw in two pointless fucking slides to our presentation.

And then was all. "Oh I'll do the ones I added"  NO shit you will bitch!  Really I should have had you do the two you added PLUS another one that was unmanned.  She didn't want to do it because the next slides had a lot of stats on them about certain states and the statutes of limitations on them.  

Oh I'm sorry you don't want to do work.  Here, how about you just fuck this up for everyone and I'll carry us all.  You're fucking welcome.

So what ended up happening is I signed in, brought it up introduced it by speaking loudly over all of the immature freshies in class, and let the first couple of people do their slides...and then J (who had said she'd take slide five) fucked me over by not knowing the slide content which caused her to freeze.

Leaving me to be like..the fuck?  Ok here let me read the stats for this because I made the damn slide and no one wants to do their fucking jobs here.  So after the second of silence I picked up the slide, and did a fantastic job at explaining it.  Then others did their job and I ended up on my slide and blew that out of the water and then everyone else read their stuff and we were done.  

I was pissed though.  People, this is a GROUP presentation, which means we all need to suck it up and do an even amount of work.  This is utter bullshit if 30% of us pull all of the weight and end up having to divvy everything up, only to have you not do anything.  
This whole pause with J, ended up making it so she was standing awkwardly in the center, looking at the floor and not saying anything at all through the whole presentation.  The hell?  To be honest I don't know how our group got so big because for the first one we only had like...6 people, and then everyone else just kind of jumped into our group and no one had the guts to say "Who the fuck are you? And why the fuck are you adding yourself to our group?"

Needless to say that class in over, and I no longer have to deal with that shit, instead I have to deal with the repercussions of Friday night.  Most of which can be blamed on the blonde bombshell with the extra loud mouth...

On one hand I care...on the other hand I'm leaving in 6 days so just as long as I smile smugly and act like I don't give a flying fuck (and honestly I don't) about the drama that I've caused over a fucking sentence...I'm fine.  I can certainly hold my own in a verbal confrontation... and god help the person, Especially you D3Z, who wants to physically fight me.  'Cause honey, I didn't surround myself with 6ft+, 200+lb guys who purposely wrestled and hurt me for nothing.  I can hold my own honey, especially since I'm a lot bigger than you.  I figure either he'll suck it up and learn to roll with it (because he should) or he'll start his own or the blonde bombshell will. In which case I'll only deal with it for a week and then everyone will forget about me...(or not HAHA) because I'll be gone next semester.

Ha.  Rumor has it...      

This was stolen from a friend, but I changed some of them

That Awkward Moment...

1).When you’re embarrassed but no one knows because of your lack of ability to blush. #awkward moment (M.)

2).When you hear a white person refer to someone as boo! #Awkward moment (M.)

3).When you talk to someone on the phone and then meet them for the first time in person only to realize that they totally thought you were white. #awkward moment

4).When someone asks "is that all your real hair?"  (Really bitch? Not everyone has a weave). #awkward moment

5).When you sleep with a guy at a party and you expect a text the next day or even a hello in public. #awkward moment(M.)

6).When you’re at the beach and the question of the day is “Hey can you tan?” #awkward moment (M.)

7).When you get sunburn but you don't actually tan. #awkward moment

8).When people notice your absence in a class, not because of your lack of participation but because you're the "token" student . #awkward moment

9).When that guy from the party you got drunk at says "IT"S REBEKAH!" and you have no idea who the fuck they are or how they know your name #awkward moment

10).When someone asks you what your roommates look like and the only description you can give is "They're white" #awkward moment

11).When you go to a rock concert and your mother starts counting the black people. #Awkward moment

12).When you think that guy you met at that party last night wants you for your personality. #Awkward moment (M)

13).When your best friend says he can't bring you home because he's not racist but his parents are. #Awkward moment

14).When your classmates in your freshman classes ask how old you are and you tell them that you're 22. #Awkward moment

15). When you get a 9000$ scholarship to a university and everyone tells you it's only because you're black. . #Awkward moment

16).When your guy friends ask you if your boobs are fake. #Awkward moment

Twitter....

So some of my friends have been telling me to get a Twitter account for a while, and for about as long as it's been out I've managed to fight them on it and not get an account. 

I have watched my parents get accounts, my other friends get accounts and I have stood my ground and refused to get one.  However, I now have one.  why?

Because my friends, B and BG, have peer pressured me into getting an account.  Mainly because I update my facebook account just like you would do a Twitter account.

Oh how the mighty have fallen. I don't like this at all to be honest and I probably won't use it but I decided to create one.

I used my nickname so that it would be harder to find me.  Which is what I want because to be honest with you, my updates are pretty inappropriate.